Effectively Stop Complaining and start living in 5 Easy Steps
It is very easy and temporary to complain about. We often do it naturally, without even noticing. This means that we attribute our happiness to something that does not depend on us, discharging our responsibility.
Furthermore, it is also easier to unite for a shared “hate” rather than for something you love. Unfortunately, today there are numerous examples that demonstrate this. Some of these are groups that are formed to criticize and despise an artist, the so-called “haters”.
But how do you stop complaining and start a living?
How to stop complaining
The key point is to understand why you should stop. Complaining is harmful and destructive in the long run. We rarely solve our problems by filling ourselves with negative feelings.
Shifting the mindset towards positive emotions is essential to be masters of ourselves and to evolve. This must become a habit, in fact it requires time and training.
So, below I will show you 5 steps to take to stop complaining and finally take your life in hand.
What you should do instead of complaining
Step 1. Understand how much this attitude costs you
We all complain. Sometimes it’s inevitable because we need to let off steam with someone or something. Do not believe that you are the only one with this defect.
However, when you complain, remember that the person you are harming the most is you. Every minute you spend regretting it is a time you are wasting by expanding the problem rather than solving it.
Every negative speech elicits some pathological reactions in us, one of which is the release of stress hormones. This has been shown to cause cardiovascular problems, cognitive decline, and gastrointestinal problems over time.
Also, remember that our thoughts represent our perception. Perception, in turn, will influence behavior and actions. The latter, finally, write our destiny. Therefore, the course of our life depends on our head, on what we think and what we feel.
So why not start working on the root of our problems?
Step 2. Find the primary cause
Sometimes, the complaint has a justifiable reason. For example, it can bring out all our frustration, helping us to vent what we have inside. In these cases, if not persistent, it can also be a time to reset and start over.
Nonetheless, most of us do it by nature. Because the family is full of complainers, or because friends or those around us are. Often, in these cases, we do not notice this toxic habit, precisely because it surrounds our life.
So, to understand what the core of our negative attitude is, and if it should be eliminated, we need to ask ourselves some questions:
- How do I feel now? Does complaining make me feel better or worse?
- Does what I’m complaining about have a valid reason? Is it recurring or occasional?
- What can I do to completely fix the problem?
- Is there someone who can help me?
- Writing down the answers can be further help in getting the problem right.
Step 3. Make room for healthy and positive feelings
Getting rid of a negative attitude does not mean immediately acquiring a positive and healthy mindset. This is achieved with a process that must become routine, so it takes time.
We can start by attributing a positive meaning to what happens to us, putting it on a productive level. Don’t play the victim. Deal with how you can fix the problem first. The moment of frustration is not suitable for crying over yourself or judging, but it is an opportunity to grow.
So, does this mean we have to tell ourselves that everything is fine even when it isn’t? Absolutely not. We don’t have to tell a lie to ourselves. Our unconscious knows before us when we lie to it.
We can cut out the space for frustration after dealing with the solution of the problem. Let the negative emotions pass first, then venting yourself will have a positive and healthy value. Over time you will realize how little by little, even after the problem has passed, the need to complain will disappear.
Step 4. Surround yourself with happy people
By connecting to the causes of our negative attitude, we have said that it is often due to the people close to us. So, if we want to completely change our mentality, we also need to surround ourselves with people who are who we want to be.
Happiness, like sadness, is contagious. Having happy people around you allows you to facilitate the task of being more positive. At first, it may seem like an effort, but over time it will get easier and easier. Feed your positivity, don’t give credit to toxic and negative feelings. The more you try to ignore them, the less they will resurface over time.
Attending emotionally healthy people allows us to get closer and closer to a state of inner peace. So why not start today?
Step 5. Break out of your comfort zone
The fifth step is the crucial one. One day it will tell the world who you are. It is the challenge with yourself. As mentioned before, it’s very easy to complain, it’s in the middle of our comfort zone.
The effort to eliminate negative emotions, however, requires commitment at first. If this creates difficulties for us, it means that we are pushing ourselves a little beyond our skills. Therefore, going beyond our abilities will allow us to acquire others.
Precisely with the increase of our skills, we will become better people. Before learning to walk we all fell at least once, then, alone or with help, we got up. Now we walk without even noticing. One day you too will be happy, without even noticing the skills you have acquired.
It all starts here, with the challenges, with getting out of your comfort zone. The difference between dreaming and realizing lies precisely in this phase.
Give up impotence, take responsibility
To complain is to hold someone else responsible for our problems. Trying to avoid it already means becoming better people. Even if at first it is not possible.
Remember that just by being aware of the problem you are already one step ahead of yesterday. Of course, there will be a long way to go to become positive every day, but don’t give up, the will can do anything.
Someday, when you least expect it, you’ll find yourself explaining to someone how to stop complaining.
So let’s roll up our sleeves and become better people!